Pulling Away
by loveoverpride
Summary: Their first conversation since he broke her heart. — An angsty one-shot.


Happy Friday, y'all. Wrote most of this over two years ago... but after hearing _Pulling Away_ by Sinead Harnett and Gallant, of course, these two came to mind. I'll post a visual and the link to the song on my twitter (loveoverprideFF).

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"Liv. Olivia… Livvie."

She couldn't stand having her name being called repeatedly, such a pet peeve. "What the fuck! What is it?" Her voice strained with irritation.

"Will you let me in?"

As Olivia steadied her breathing, she rose from the couch. She knew who was behind the wooden barrier, thanking her lucky stars her outfit was appropriate — a silk tank, leggings, and a warm cardigan, not much to lust over. Taking her sweet time to the door, she turned the lock, and allowed him in. He was the last person she was expecting to see. That voice was not supposed to sound like anything anymore, but it prompted a flood of memories.

Of course, Fitz looked the same. Wearing a casual dress shirt, with slacks. An errant brown curl falling against his forehead. Soulful blue eyes that were most certainly tired. Still handsome.

"Thank you," he quietly answered.

She turned her heel, without acknowledging him. The silence had become awkward. It had been six months since they had seen each other, and even longer since their last conversation that left her in tears.

"So?"

"So," she echoed.

Fitz walked a few steps towards her chair. "I had to see you, Livvie. You know I'll be here for you."

It didn't mean shit. Coldly, she said, "Okay."

"I mean it."

"Alright."

"Don't brush me off, Liv. I can't take it anymore. I called. You never answered. I sent letters. They were returned. I can't... do this alone."

She returned to face him; her eyes burned with tears, extremely angry. "What am I supposed to? Act like none of this happened? You hurt me. So badly. You turned me away."

"We hurt each other."

"No. You hurt me," she repeated. Yes, the pain was distributed equally but she had more to lose. She gave her all. "I did what you wanted me to do. I've kept my distance, _Fitz_."

There was duality to his name. A curse, always reminding her of the two years of loving, engaging, connecting on all levels, only to be dropped and cast away like her whole being was scum. Also, a praise, making her smile about the best times of her life, how they became like one. It was easy to believe him, feel at peace when they were holding each other. Others noticed their closeness, but others waited for their demise.

Olivia wanted him to know how much she hated him. How he allowed the few people in his life, to discourage him from being with his true love.

"I know, Livvie, and that has killed me," he confessed. "If I could, I'd change everything. Will you forgive me? We need to be together. I need you."

Her eyes closed, praying to strength to resist. His voice trembled, but the richness was still there.

Fitz's shoulders slumped, unaware of how he could fix any of this. After a minute of studying her, wanting to remember everything that was good and beautiful about the woman he loved, he walked towards the door. There was nothing he could say that would change her mind.

"Thank you for letting me see you. I miss you so much. When you're ready, please call me. Whatever you need, I'll be here."

Olivia hugged herself, looking at the wall. She knew if their eyes met, her body would respond in a manner that would betray. Whenever he got too close, she couldn't think. Her lips tingled. Her breasts swelled. Her throat tightened. Her arms immediately extended towards him, drawing them together — usually to a space where their clothes were removed, and their bodies reunited.

But fucking, making love, or whatever they wanted to call it, could not happen. She couldn't fall like this. Not now. They both were too vulnerable to make clear decisions.

"Are you...still wearing it?"

"What do you mean?"

"The ring I gave you — Doux Bébé."

"Why does that matter to you?"

Fitz replied, "It matters."

"Yes," she spoke in a painful whisper. "See?"

She kept her eye on him, who was staring at the intricate ring that graced her index finger. For the first time, in a long time, he smiled.

"Okay." He knew that was all needed to know. "I meant what I said. I love you."

Olivia marched to the door, silently giving him her answer for the moment. She knew he was being honest. He did love her. And she most certainly felt the same way. She couldn't tell him right now. Time was needed to heal her broken heart.

"Goodbye, Mister."


End file.
